Lyrics: Green Eggs and Crack

(All songs written by Blumenfield/Quirk/Smallens/Vinton and published by People Suck Music.)

Innocents Ablaze

Thirteen hurting nite-lite years
Spent sitting at the kiddie table
Till an uncle coughs and chokes and goes
And then there’s room for you

Eighteen screaming recess bodies
Bursting through the sky
Little burning third grade pilots
Trying their best to fly

And they’re just as mad as you
And they don’t know what to do

And they’re stubbing toes and bruising shins
And scraping little kiddie chins
And that can really hurt really bad
Really

Nineteen laughing drinking buddies
Taking shots with you
Stumbling head over shoelaces
In the mud with you

Here’s To Eternity

It’s hard to be real when you’re made out of would you let me buy you a drink it slowly it can hurt your throat is beautiful are those real it’s hard to tell sometimes I drink alone but tonight I don’t think, so

Here’s to you and here’s to me
And here’s to eternity

I like rocks they last a while I see your point I beg to differ take my word I don’t need it’s not like that at all these people hate their jobs and so they die and so here’s to them and here’s to me and here’s to eternity

Bodies get in the way out west nobody has them they shed them long ago I knew a guy like that’s what he said I don’t know where he is now I’ll never see him again which is too long for me, so here’s to eternity

Here’s to the clouds up in the sky
And here’s to the ones down on the ground
Here’s to my dad cuz he’s made out of glass
And here’s to all the people who have kicked me in the ass
Here’s to all the dogs that are dead
Here’s to all the dogs in my head
Here’s to all the fish in the sea
Here’s to the shark who’s staring at me
Here’s to the bartender he’s my friend
Here’s to songs that know when to end

Map Like Mine

Looking for someone with a map like mine
Hardest thing to find
Is somebody with a map like mine

I found this map a long time ago
And I’ll never give it up
Pieces are missing but someday I’ll find
Somebody with the rest of a map like mine

You’ve got roads where I’ve got trees
You’ve got land where I’ve got seas
You think you know but you don’t see
That I’ve got roads where you’ve got trees

I found this map a long time ago
And I’ll never give it up
Half of it’s missing but someday I’ll find
A pretty girl
Someone

Grandma Went to Athens, Once

The sun’s sinking into the sea
It looks like the end of me
It’s burning up the sea
That sun it burned up me
Just once

There’s steam rising off the bay
Everyone get out of its way
This world’s inside my head
My head’s inside this world

I bought myself a little souvenir
Stupid little T-Shirt says I was here
Those waves are waving at me
Why can’t they let me be

The moon’s pulling out the tide
It’s pulling out my insides
That moon looks a little too wide
It’ll go out if I close my eyes

No Beer

I don’t like it when there’s no beer
There’s no beer now and I feel that way
And I don’t like it when you’re not here
So why don’t you just go away

I really like it when you talk to me
But then I figure I’ve said to much
And I like it a whole lot when I get things for free
Sometimes it’s nice just to be touched

Walk and talk and walk some more
Yeah, I know it’s hard to do both at once
Some things need to be sat down for
And sometimes you’ve just got to run

I get mad when the phone’s not for me
It’s ringing now, but there’s no one home
I don’t like it when your line’s busy
But then I figure I’ve said too much

I don’t like it when there’s no beer
There’s no beer now and I feel that way
I hate it to death when you’re not here
You’re not here now cuz I went away

James Dean’s Jacket

I don’t have to light the cigarette
Cuz they haven’t noticed me yet
And I, I wanna look like that
Or a picture on your wall

I don’t have to light that cigarette
And don’t bury me I’m not dead yet
And I, I wanna look like that
Be a picture on your wall

I bought the coat
I wore the coat
I got lost in the coat
I never took it off

You’re the only person you hate more than yourself
You’re your own worst enemy
And you know you wanna look like that
Be a picture on my wall

Navigator

There’s no one on the road
And that’s all right with me
I’m driving all alone
But I’ve got company, you see

The navigator smiles
The road goes on for miles

There’s an ocean on my right
Am I driving north or south
Well I don’t know

Even a factory’s pretty
Alone by the sea
A factory can be pretty
The navigator agrees with me

The fog is rolling in
I’m driving kind of slow
The trip will take a while
But I’ve got nowhere to go, you know

I guess that factory’s pretty
Sitting by the sea
A factory can be pretty
Have some kind of majesty to me

No Rope

No rope, I got no hope

Tied in a knot
I’m tied to a chair
You can never move
When your rope’s not there
When I get it back
I’ll finally be free
But life without a rope
Spells the end for me

It’s gone, it’s gone
I had it only yesterday
It’s gone, it’s gone
I think my rope has gone away

You can’t hang on when you’ve got no hope
You can’t hang yourself without a rope

My Place

The chair’s in the corner
The pens are in the drawer
The carpet is blue
And a lock is on the door
The shades are drawn
My rope is on the rafter
The TV echoes the sound of Muppet laughter

I know my place and it knows me
Everyone’s nice and everything’s free

I’ll stand right here
I’ll hide my face
No I won’t talk
I know my place

It’s a world of no anger
A world of scotch and wine
A world of common sense
A world that is mine

Tripping in my room
A place where I can sing
I never want to leave
A place where I am king

From wall to wall is nineteen years
Fifteen feet and ninety-nine beers
From wall to wall is ninety-nine years
Fifteen feet and ninety-nine beers

You’re fucking me up, Kurt

Bored With Love

He bought the girl some flowers
He talked to her for hours
She said she’d had enough
And now he’s bored with love

There’s couples everywhere
­There’s one over there
He’s satisfied with life
She’s his best friend’s wife

Sweet nothing

He took her to a show
Though he didn’t want to go
He said “It’s getting rough
I think I’m out of love”

On a bus they meet
­He offers her his seat
He says he likes her boots
She thinks he’s kind of cute

Someone Else’s Jacket

I don’t have to light the cigarette
Cuz they haven’t noticed me yet
And I, I wanna look like that
Or a picture on your wall

I don’t have to light that cigarette
And don’t bury me I’m not dead yet
And I, I wanna look like that
Be a picture on your wall

I bought the coat
I wore the coat
I got lost in the coat
I never took it off

You’re the only person you hate more than yourself
You’re your own worst enemy
And you know you wanna look like that
Be a picture on my wall

Years

Things you should’ve said are running through your head
What you could’ve shown to the people you have known
They don’t understand why you’re getting out of hand
You’d like to explain, but it would take years

Go walking in the rain to wash away the pain
Wash away the dirt and wash away the hurt
Getting depressed as you’re getting undressed
It’s nothing new it’s been going on for years

And you’re being swallowed whole
By just what you don’t know
And it’s snapping at your heels
Now you know how hard that feels

Lying on your bed pretending that you’re dead
Feeling kind of bad bout what you have and haven’t had
Too much has been going wrong for twenty years too long
It’s only all your life it’s only all your years

Go swimming in the sea to drown the misery
Fill the emptiness and kill the something less
Swim back to the shore with forty problems more
It’d be almost funny if it was someone else

Drum Machine

I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire
I own a mansion and a yacht
and a car and a plane and a gun
and a drum machine

There’s a band in the studio right next to us
We think that their brains are filled with pus
We wish that they’d go home on a bus
and take their drum machine

I am Mr. Eddie’s Father
My best friend is Uncle Norman
Eddie plays with Mrs. Livingston
and his drum machine

I am an antichrist
I am an anarchist
I know what I want and I’m gonna get
a drum machine

There’s a band in the studio right next to us
We wish that they’d get run over by a bus
and leave their drum machine to us
We want their drum machine

We really need a drum machine
We could write lots of songs that were really keen
and get on MTV and be seen
If we had a drum machine

The perfect Christmas gift to a band from its fans
is a drum machine
We don’t know how to use one but we could learn
If it came with instructions that would be real good

King Fred

It’s a great big city mostly ugly partly pretty
Eight million souls surround him but he’s utterly alone
He lives high above the ground and he rarely makes a sound
He’s in charge of everything

His name is King Fred

His fortress of power is a hundred year old tower
It used to be the only one
But the buildings got taller and the people got smaller
And everyone forgot they had a king

All bow down to King Fred

Don Quixote

Don Quixote, Don Quixote
What do you want from me Don Quixote?

Al Pacino, you’re in movies
And plays too
You look like Dustin Hoffman
But you don’t win awards
What do you want from me Al Pacino?

Mahatma Gandhi, they made a movie about you
Starring Benny Kingsley
Lots of people saw it
It won academy awards
What do you want from me Mahatma Gandhi?

I’m just a guy and I don’t why
And I don’t know what and I guess I never will
I went to school and I learned your names
But I’ve learned more from movie screens

Mr. Nietzche, God is dead
So is Nietzche
What do you want from me Mr. Neitzche?

Jesus Christ, you were God’s son
At least for a while
They put you on a cross
Why can’t I be you?
What do you want from me Jesus Christ?

The Otter Song

Oh, otters never cry
Cuz they always got the water in their eye
And baby when I die
I wanna be an otter

Otters sure can swim
I got an otter and I named it Tim
I sure do admire him
I wanna be an otter

Otters might not work
But that doesn’t make the otter a jerk
I wanna be Tim Otter Quirk
I wanna be an otter

Now you might think it’s dumb
To wanna be an otter bum
But if you don’t then you’re welcome to come
And be an otter

Otters might not fly
But they don’t need to get high
And baby when I die
I wanna be an otter

Drunk and in Love

She’s visiting a cousin or someone
I’m with the only friend I could find
She’s just as close as that pay phone
I’ll call collect she won’t mind

I’ll make fun of her ex-boyfriend
I’ll ask her what she wants to name our kids
She’ll tell me she can’t live without me
I’ll call her Nancy till she calls me Sid

Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
the fact that nothing matters
when you’re drunk and in love

Spent my last dollar on a silk purse in Chinatown
It’s got this picture of a pumpkin
I don’t even know if she’ll like it (don’t matter)
I just want to give her something

All the dead ducks in the windows
are croaking out my happy song
All the junkies wiping windshields
they can’t help but sing along

She’s asleep in some other time zone
I’m with a friend who wonders where I’ve been
I want to tell her why she’s so amazing
She’s not here so I’ll just tell him

I’ll tell her how much I miss her
I’ll ask her if she’s wearing any clothes
I’ll ask her what she’d do if I died tomorrow
I’ll make her tell me something no one knows

I’ll tell her all about the silk purse
that was gonna be a surprise
I’ll tell her what I want for Christmas
I’ll sing a song about her eyes

Frustrated

I’m so
I’m so
I’m so

Frustrated
Yeah, yeah frustrated
Yeah, yeah

Your friends
Your friends
Your friends are so

Overrated
Yeah, yeah frustrated
Yeah, yeah

Here I am on my knees
Stop and start no release
This lab rat wants his cheese

This is the sound
Of one man snapping
Everything has been

Confiscated
Yeah, yeah, frustrated
Yeah yeah

“Sit down we need to talk”
Is when I get up to go
Every time I ask what’s wrong
You say, “I don’t know”

Makes me frustrated
Yeah, yeah frustrated

Secret Handshake

Jumping up and down on public transportation
Moses in a dress is addressing the nation
I got plans for the man
I got the fire inside

Walking down Wall Street, raining businessmen
Hand some money to a cop cuz policemen are your friends
Searching for the Buddha underneath the apple tree
Who knows the words of wisdom and speaks them unto me

Maybe you think it’s funny
I’m one of those crash test dummies
Let me tell you I got business going on
Gimme ten grand or two tens
Spend it all on my friends
Babe my secret handshake is my song

Sitting in the park it’s a perfect sunny day
Even stupid pigeons sort of look ok
Old lady in a car makes a big mistake
Steps on the gas thinking it’s the brake

Happened very fast right before my very eyes
But it didn’t make any sense till I watched the news at five
Somewhere in Montana there’s someone who understands
Although we’ve never met, right now we’re shaking hands

Downtown in a gallery there was free food and wine
Big thoughts hung from the walls, some of them were mine
An usher said no pointing but he did not have a gun
Everybody cheered when the cardinal killed his son

If anything is art that someone pays you for
Then I have met Picasso, mistook him for a whore
Hate the corporate world but I shop there when I must
This is the secret handshake that means you’re one of us

Maybe you think it’s funny
I’m one of those crash test dummies
Let me tell you I got business going on
If you’ve got ten grand or just two tens
and spend it all on your friends
Then you can’t get this secret handshake wrong

Powered by WordPress